At fifteen years old I had a brother in Christ tell me I was a prayer warrior. In that moment my calling from God began.  I am a fixer. If something is wrong in another person’s life I want to make it right. That is NOT God’s calling for me and it took seventeen of my eighteen years as a believer to finally come to terms with that.  Just last year I finally said,  I can’t fix anyone or the issues they’re facing, but God, you can. As a prayer warrior it is my responsibility to go before the throne of God and intercede for whomever He places on my path. That is how I can “fix” things. Over the years I have struggled to figure out exactly how to pray.  I thought there was somewhere in the Bible that had step by step instructions. Talk about a flawed thought process. God made us unique. I am not supposed to pray the way you pray. I wanted to structure the most beautiful part of my relationship with God. God gives us freedom for a reason and one of those reasons is to be uniquely intimate with Him through prayer.

I found myself struggling to pray because I couldn’t figure out what God wanted me to say. One day I realized, God just wants me to talk to Him. To be myself and speak to Him like I would anyone else. As I matured in Christ, I began to see patterns in my prayers and it became disturbing. When I was discouraged, I would pray, God, I need you. It began to sicken me that I was in this beautiful relationship and all I wanted to do was take. Don’t misunderstand me, God doesn’t want us to filter ourselves or hold back and He certainly doesn’t run out of love, attention or affection to give us. However, any relationship is a two way street. If I wasn’t putting in the effort how was I going to grow in Christ. The moment I realized all this, I changed the word need to want. God, I want you. Right here, right now. Be here with me.

It would take me years to fully explain how changing one simple word, brought overwhelming blessings into my life and relationship with God. We will always need God, that came with the fall of Adam and Eve. The real decision is to WANT God. To want Him leading, teaching and growing you up in His will for your life.

Like the rest of us, you NEED God, but do you WANT God? Meditate on that and see where the Holy Spirit leads you.

 

Belinda
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God, I need you, but do I want you?