I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being Ephesians 3:16
Until a moment ago I couldn’t tell you what Ephesians 3:16 said. I was determined to write because it has been a while. I typed out Right Here, then God used my fingers to type out Ephesians, then God gave me 3:16. I love how God works.
I have been MIA lately for quite a few reasons, but mainly because I have been fighting a spiritual battle that overcame me for a while. Anger. I have mentioned it many times in previous posts. God led me right to the source of my anger and just as I have been taught by the word of God and the Holy Spirit the source was not another person. The source was my struggle with control. I could not control the people around me, specifically my grandmother and so the anger towards her began to grow. I took responsibility, confessed my sin and allowed God to continue His work in me.
Right Here is the title because I have been feeling like I’m drifting away from God. That all the Christian writers, pastors and other believers I’ve been listening to or reading their work states, God takes you as you are. You don’t have to get cleaned up first. I’ve known that for most of my twenty years as a believer, but have only believed it in my life for the past fifteen.
Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
God always meets you right where you are. I’ve been able to believe that my whole walk with Christ simply because I know I have no strength outside of God. It was easier for me to believe that God would come to me, then allow me to ever approach His throne. Again those thoughts were from my early days walking with God. I know now that I can climb onto God’s lap and be held by Him. In all His glory, that He would allow me such intimacy breaks me down to my very core. As I type this I’m crying and I don’t care because I am humbled that God loves me that much.
I have been losing myself in video games, worldly books and solitude the last few months. Partly to deal with my anger, partly because I lost focus and mostly because this world has really become a struggle for me. All the hate, violence, anger and refusal to be kind has brought me to a dark place. Solitude is great when it is utilized getting to know God more closely or allowing God to examine your heart and bring forth a sin/lifestyle choice that needs to be dealt with. Solitude is good for recharging yourself after giving so much of yourself away to others. I guess I have to be honest and admit to myself first that I wasn’t really in solitude. I was actually alienating myself from everyone else. At first it was honestly to deal with my anger and to not expose the people I love to it. Slowly and very easily I slipped into alienation.
Every trial I have ever come through has been a blessing to me. I have only grown and learned more about God every time. Right Here, Right Now I am in desperate need for God to meet me right where I am. Moving from the place I am currently standing spiritually, doesn’t seem to be an option for me. I am not sure how to explain it, just that I need and want God to come to me. I don’t need or want God to prove anything, I already know He will meet me where I am.
Right Here is where I need God to grant me according the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with the might by his spirit. I am desperate for God’s strength, to continue forward in His will for my life. Whenever I believe I am drifting I go to God for His strength so I regain full focus on HIM. I want nothing more than God. I used to say I need you God. Then during one of my greatest trials, I changed Need to Want. I will always need God, but falling in love with God has taught me to want Him more than my need of needing Him. I hope that makes sense. 🙂
Thank you for allowing me to share this. I hope it is more coherent than I am right now. As with all my writing I ask God to use this as He sees fit and I leave it here for anyone that may be exhorted by it. God Bless and have an awesome week.